Everything Happens For A Reason

There are a lot of things that I can't make up my mind about. For example, do I believe in destiny? How does that fit with Free Will? Is everything pre-determined... part of God's plan? Or are we choosing our own path? Are the two mutually exclusive?

I woke up this morning with a thought in my head: "Everything Happens For A Reason." People say this often. It is mostly used when something happens that we don't like or don't understand. When painful things happen in our lives, we fall back on, "Everything Happens For A Reason." Actually, it's usually a reminder we give to people we care about when painful things happen in their lives. It is much less common for people to remind themselves that things happen for a reason. I think it's because that phrase is rarely comforting when you're in the middle of the pain. When something happens and you're struggling, it's difficult to remember that things always work out for the best... that one day, you'll be glad things have happened this way... that this painful event was a necessary waypoint on your path to some better life. For example: "If I hadn't lost my job, I would have never chased my dream of becoming a fill-in-the-blank." Or: "At the time, getting dumped by Jane Doe felt like my world was going to end. But if she hadn't broken up with me, I never would have met my dream girl." You get the picture.

So, I guess "Things Happen For A Reason" helps when things happen to you. But what about when you make a choice that you end up second-guessing? Is that phrase still as comforting? When the universe hasn't imposed it's will on you, but you actually made a choice and made a decision, do you still feel comforted by a Master Plan? Or do you take a look in the mirror and say, "Things Happened Because I Made A Choice."? And if you start to believe that your life is much more a product of your own choices, not some predetermined destiny, is that scary? Or is it comforting? Do we want control of our lives? Do we want responsibility for our futures? For that matter, do we want responsibility for our past?

There are a lot of things I can't make up my mind about. I go back and forth from one view to another. Today, I'm not so sure "Everything Happens For A Reason". Today, I think things happen because of choices we make. Today, I think we are responsible for navigating our lives and choosing the path we follow. Today, I think we have to take responsibility for the choices that led us to our present. Today, I think our choices shape our future so we can make it what we want it to be.

(Of course, tomorrow I might change my mind.)