Running is Cheaper than Therapy
So, it's been four and a half years since I wrote anything in this blog. So much for staying on top of things! I originally started this blog to give anyone who is interested a little insight into my world. I also thought that getting my thoughts and feelings out and putting them into some tangible form would be therapeutic. I guess that's what brings me back to my blog today. I'm hoping for some kind of cathartic experience.
A lot has happened in my life since I last posted here. I've since been married, bought a house, got a dog, received my professional license, just recently bought a new car (just to name a few). But the change that stands out the most after reading my old posts is that about four months after my most recent blog post, my Dad passed away. My Dad died suddenly and unexpectedly in 2006. It was the most difficult experience of my life and it still affects me in ways that continue to surprise me. I'm writing today because for the past two days, I have been feeling a sadness that I haven't felt since my Dad died four years ago.
It's an unusual feeling of... sorrow. It's like I'm mourning a loss when in reality, I haven't lost anything. Yesterday, I spent most of the day with this painful burning feeling behind my eyes. It's like I need to cry and the tears are aching to escape, but they never come. I felt waves of this overwhelming sadness off and on all day. I know it will pass, but for now, I feel like there isn't much I can do to feel better.
I have a magnet on my refrigerator that says "Running is Cheaper than Therapy" which is pretty ironic considering I'm a Licensed Professional Counselor. But it's true. And for me, it helps. I tell my clients all the time that when you feel there is little you can do to change a situation, focus on the things you can do and spend less time worrying about the things you can't do. So, for the past two days, I've been doing that.
I have the support of my wife, my family, and my friends. They're all amazing and would do anything to help. Last night, they helped without even knowing. We went out for our weekly dinner and it was an unusually large turnout. Lots of good friends eating Mexican and having a laugh. Good therapy!
Before dinner, I mowed the lawn for the first time in almost two weeks. Taking care of my yard, walking peacefully to the loud mower engine, enjoying a cool spring night. Good therapy!
And best of all, after dinner I went for a run. I ran a mile with Liz and then took off to run some hills. Running up a steep hill as fast as you can and then stumbling back down while you try to suck in as much oxygen as you can... only to turn around and run right back up, might be crazy to some people. But for me, it's good therapy! Getting the blood flowing, feeling the burn in your legs and your lungs, reaching the top and thinking that sucking in fresh, live-giving air never felt so good! Then the slow, relaxed jog home with the knowledge that you just made your body stronger... more resilient. Good therapy!
This morning, I woke up feeling a little better but still down. I laced up my old running shoes knowing that it was raining and my new shoes shouldn't be subjected to mud and puddles yet. I took off for a brisk four miles in a light rain. I have to tell you, it was just what the doctor ordered. If I didn't have to go to work, I probably would have kept running until I just couldn't run anymore. But the real world was intruding on my therapy this morning and I had to keep it short. To make up for it, I put on a little speed and returned to the house feeling sufficiently spent. Good therapy!
Some people hear about running as therapy and think that it's a way to run away from your problems. For me, nothing could be further from the truth. Sure, sometimes the best part about a good run is letting your mind wander or letting yourself focus so much on the sound of your breathing, the feel of your stride, the power in your legs, that your mind shuts everything else out. But, more often, when I go for a run, it's not a time to escape my thoughts... it's a time to be alone with them. A time that I can devote to giving my thoughts and feelings the attention they deserve. I work through things on my run. I've let my runs lead me to places within myself that have made me laugh out loud and places that have left me crying my eyes out... all the time, never breaking stride.
Running is Cheaper than Therapy. It should be, "Running is Therapy." And tomorrow, I'll get up and do it all over again.
A lot has happened in my life since I last posted here. I've since been married, bought a house, got a dog, received my professional license, just recently bought a new car (just to name a few). But the change that stands out the most after reading my old posts is that about four months after my most recent blog post, my Dad passed away. My Dad died suddenly and unexpectedly in 2006. It was the most difficult experience of my life and it still affects me in ways that continue to surprise me. I'm writing today because for the past two days, I have been feeling a sadness that I haven't felt since my Dad died four years ago.
It's an unusual feeling of... sorrow. It's like I'm mourning a loss when in reality, I haven't lost anything. Yesterday, I spent most of the day with this painful burning feeling behind my eyes. It's like I need to cry and the tears are aching to escape, but they never come. I felt waves of this overwhelming sadness off and on all day. I know it will pass, but for now, I feel like there isn't much I can do to feel better.
I have a magnet on my refrigerator that says "Running is Cheaper than Therapy" which is pretty ironic considering I'm a Licensed Professional Counselor. But it's true. And for me, it helps. I tell my clients all the time that when you feel there is little you can do to change a situation, focus on the things you can do and spend less time worrying about the things you can't do. So, for the past two days, I've been doing that.
I have the support of my wife, my family, and my friends. They're all amazing and would do anything to help. Last night, they helped without even knowing. We went out for our weekly dinner and it was an unusually large turnout. Lots of good friends eating Mexican and having a laugh. Good therapy!
Before dinner, I mowed the lawn for the first time in almost two weeks. Taking care of my yard, walking peacefully to the loud mower engine, enjoying a cool spring night. Good therapy!
And best of all, after dinner I went for a run. I ran a mile with Liz and then took off to run some hills. Running up a steep hill as fast as you can and then stumbling back down while you try to suck in as much oxygen as you can... only to turn around and run right back up, might be crazy to some people. But for me, it's good therapy! Getting the blood flowing, feeling the burn in your legs and your lungs, reaching the top and thinking that sucking in fresh, live-giving air never felt so good! Then the slow, relaxed jog home with the knowledge that you just made your body stronger... more resilient. Good therapy!
This morning, I woke up feeling a little better but still down. I laced up my old running shoes knowing that it was raining and my new shoes shouldn't be subjected to mud and puddles yet. I took off for a brisk four miles in a light rain. I have to tell you, it was just what the doctor ordered. If I didn't have to go to work, I probably would have kept running until I just couldn't run anymore. But the real world was intruding on my therapy this morning and I had to keep it short. To make up for it, I put on a little speed and returned to the house feeling sufficiently spent. Good therapy!
Some people hear about running as therapy and think that it's a way to run away from your problems. For me, nothing could be further from the truth. Sure, sometimes the best part about a good run is letting your mind wander or letting yourself focus so much on the sound of your breathing, the feel of your stride, the power in your legs, that your mind shuts everything else out. But, more often, when I go for a run, it's not a time to escape my thoughts... it's a time to be alone with them. A time that I can devote to giving my thoughts and feelings the attention they deserve. I work through things on my run. I've let my runs lead me to places within myself that have made me laugh out loud and places that have left me crying my eyes out... all the time, never breaking stride.
Running is Cheaper than Therapy. It should be, "Running is Therapy." And tomorrow, I'll get up and do it all over again.
posted by Brad @ 8:48 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home